Say Goodbye to Impostor Syndrome

I still sometimes feel like a loser kid in high school and I just have to pick myself up and tell myself that I’m a superstar every morning so that I can get through this day and be for my fans what they need for me to be.

Lady Gaga

Do you feel like a fraud in danger of being exposed when someone praises your work? Do you think your achievements are just a matter of luck? If so, you may be experiencing Imposter syndrome.

The term Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes invented in the late 1970s when they studied successful women. In short, imposter syndrome is when an otherwise competent individual doubts their abilities and feeling like a fraud.

Although studies on the topic disagree on the exact percentage, researchers estimate that most adults experience the symptoms at least occasionally. It’s also important to keep in mind that you may be especially vulnerable when you’re trying something new or celebrating a momentous occasion like a job promotion.

Depending on your personality, you may be more at risk of developing impostor syndrome more frequently. Whatever the reasons, you can stop undermining yourself. Instead, learn to experience doubts without letting them interfere with the happiness and success you deserve.

Changing Your Thinking:

1. Remember your achievements. Review your track record. Putting your victories in context will show you that they’re not flukes.
2. Give yourself credit. Change your self-talk. When you catch yourself becoming critical, congratulate yourself instead. Reframing your thoughts will help you to view yourself in a more positive light.
3. Accept uncertainty. Impostor syndrome is often associated with perfectionism. Instead, embrace yourself unconditionally, including your strengths and weaknesses. Set realistic goals and expectations.
4. Validate yourself. Live up to your standards rather than relying on approval from others. Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings so you can manage them effectively.
5. Appreciate effort. Do you regard struggling as a sign of weakness? In reality, success often requires careful planning and hard work.

Changing Your Behavior:

1. Talk it over. Impostor syndrome can be a complex cycle to break because your first impulse is to cover it up. On the other hand, revealing your insecurities will help you to put them in perspective.
2. Build support. Ask family and friends for help. Having the courage to be vulnerable will boost your confidence and strengthen your relationships.
3. Fight stereotypes. Feeling like an outsider can contribute to impostor syndrome. For example, maybe you’re much older or younger than your coworkers. Look for ways to turn that diversity into an advantage instead of feeling awkward about being different.
4. Be spontaneous. You may be putting unnecessary pressure on yourself if you frequently over-prepare for various events. For example, throw a party with takeout pizza instead of spending an entire day in the kitchen.
5. Accept compliments. Can you receive praise graciously, or do you secretly want to run and hide? Practice saying thank you sincerely. You’ll create a more pleasant experience for yourself and your admirers.
6. Find a mentor. Changing long-standing habits can be challenging work. Working with a mentor will give you the benefit of ongoing feedback from someone you trust. You may also feel more accountable knowing that someone else is monitoring your progress too.
7. Teach others. Recognizing your areas of expertise can be tricky when knowledge and skills build up slowly over time. However, instructing others is an excellent way to learn more about yourself while providing a valuable service.
8. Stay relaxed. Challenging situations are likely to trigger any defense mechanism. You’ll find it easier to be authentic if you manage daily stress. Block out time for meditation and physical exercise. Slow down and take a deep breath if you find yourself starting to question your worth.
9. Take risks. Impostor syndrome can hold you back from trying new things. Instead, make a list of projects that excite you and take pleasure in learning as you go along.

Build your confidence and sense of belonging. Overcoming imposter syndrome will help you feel more comfortable with yourself and take more satisfaction in your achievements.