Enlightened leadership is spiritual if we understand spirituality not as some kind of religious dogma or ideology but as the domain of awareness where we experience values like truth, goodness, beauty, love and compassion, and also intuition, creativity, insight and focused attention.

While some folks argue whether great leaders are born or made (spoiler alert, they are made), there’s little doubt that great leaders share several characteristics. Leadership skills are among the most important to develop if you wish to advance your career and to play the lead role in your life. You’ll find that you already possess some of these qualities and likely need to create others.

Great leaders share these qualities:

1. Lead by example. Influential leaders know that they can get the best out of others by setting a good example. For example, demonstrate the characteristics you want to develop in your team each day if you want your followers to commit, be upbeat, passionate, and involved. What are you currently communicating to others by the example you set?
2. Take responsibility. Lousy leaders look to shift the blame when things start to go wrong. A great leader, however, knows that setbacks occur. They also know that poor planning, unclear vision, low effort, and inconsistency result in inferior products. Therefore, a great leader accepts responsibility for the outcome, both positive and negative.
3. Know the destination. After all, you have to lead to a specific goal. Do you have a vision for the future, and can you communicate that vision to others? Is your vision clear and easy to understand? Is your vision focused? Do you know where you’re going?
4. A plan. You might know where you’re going, but do you know how to get there? Can you effectively share that plan with the members of your team? Is your goal believable and achievable?
5. Great communication skills. The ability to share your vision and your plan is paramount to success. Influential leaders are excellent communicators and work to enhance their communication skills further.
6. Inflict pain on team members and get away with it. Okay, that came across rather dramatically. That said, you do need to be prepared to have hard conversations. Impressive future results require sacrifice and discomfort in the present. Are you able to inspire people enough that they’ll continue to follow you instead of revolting against you?
7. Know how to develop others. It’s essential to develop others to become better leaders. A great leader takes the time to develop the skills of their followers. The more capable your followers, the more impressive the results you’ll ultimately attain.
8. Inspire confidence in others. If people don’t believe you’ll be successful, you won’t receive their best efforts. Having faith in others’ abilities will help to foster confidence in themselves.

What is one thing that you can implement today, this week, and this month that you can do to get yourself on the right track? Have a fantastic idea or tip you want to share? Comment below!

The post Characteristics of Great Leaders first appeared on Our Life Advisor.

Balance is not something you find, it’s something you create.

Although you might take great care of your body, you may not give much thought to your mental self. So it’s time to ask yourself, “What do I do to take care of my mind and keep it in excellent shape?” For some excellent mental makeover techniques, read on.

1. Know what makes you happy and do it every day. Take time each day to immerse yourself in something that brings joy to your life. For example, watch a movie, take a walk, do some crafting, build a shelf, or paint a picture. Make it a point to derive some pleasure from every single day.
2. Laugh a lot. Read jokes online. Make up funny stories. Call a friend that always makes you laugh. Spend time with animals, children, and babies. Experience humor as often as you can.
3. Cultivate new interests. To keep your mind working on several different levels, try new things often. Learn a new language. Visit museums. Study a topic of interest on the internet. Make it a personal goal to learn something new each day.
4. Play some healthy mind games. We’re talking about the ones that put your brain through some mental calisthenics. Do word searches. Work some Sudoku puzzles. Get into crosswords. Work a few math problems occasionally.
5. Encourage your mind to get exercise by trying out different kinds of interesting, challenging mind games from time to time. For example, find some new apps for your smartphone that will challenge you and make you think.
6. Recognize your stress responses, inside and out. Knowing yourself will help you identify how you behave when exposed to stressors. For example, maybe you get a fever blister on your lip, overeat, or become grouchy. If you can train yourself to recognize when you’re stressed (early in the process), you can then proactively take steps to abolish the stress source or beef up your coping strategies.
7. Express yourself. Although it might be difficult for you, do what you have to do to express your feelings to others. Whether they’re happy and fun feelings, or sad and scary feelings, develop ways to share your emotions. Holding in how you feel is rarely the path to a calm and secure mental state.
8. Stay on top of your feelings. In the event you’re in a situation where you can’t express your feelings to someone else for a good reason, employ your writing skills to write down on paper or your computer how you’re feeling. Expressing your feelings through the written word can be both freeing and practical. So keep a journal and write regularly in it.

Take part in activities that bring joy and laugh frequently. Constantly find new interests and play games that give your mind a workout. Know your reactions to stress and do whatever’s necessary to express yourself.

When you concentrate on following through with these suggestions, you’ll give your mind a fantastic workout. And when your mind is in peak condition, so are you!

The post It’s Time to Makeover Your Mind first appeared on Our Life Advisor.

Every habit is made of three parts… a cue, a routine and a habit. Most people focus on the routine and behavior, but these cues and rewards are really the way you make something into a habit.

You’re trying to add some positive habits to your life, or perhaps, you’re trying to eliminate some of those pesky negative habits. And you’re struggling. You are not alone. Take a deep breath, and let’s dive into some operant conditioning – in particular, rewards.

In case you’re not familiar with operant conditioning, in short, it is the use of reinforcers and punishment to increase or decrease the likelihood of you acting out on a chosen behavior. For example, let’s look at increasing the time you spend at the gym doing cardio. Currently, you see going to the gym and hopping on the hamster wheel (the affectionate name I’ve given the treadmill) as a necessary yet less than ideal task. So, to bring more joy and increase the likelihood of you going to the gym four days this week, you commit to only listening to your favorite podcasts while at the gym and you’re on the treadmill. Bam! Operant conditioning!

So how can we leverage this concept in other areas to increase those positive habits? Check out the list of ideas below.

How to Use Operant Conditing in General

1. Pick your rewards. Use what you love and turn your virtuous actions into habits that will become ingrained in your character. For example, you might be motivated by a special dessert or an extra hour of sleep on Sunday morning.
2. Be flexible. At the risk of opening Pandora’s Box, what’s important to understand is that choice is an illusion. That gift certificate your boss is offering you for working on a holiday is just as valuable as the one you’d select for yourself. Don’t get hung up on picking the exact fitting reward; creativity can be more potent than perfection.
3. Recognize your power. Even if you feel powerless, there are choices available to you. You may be unable to change your circumstances, but you can change your response.
4. Limit your options. As much as we love choices and rewards, you can have too many of them. So trim your list down to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Decision fatigue, anyone?
5. Act quickly. Strengthen your lessons by acting swiftly. For example, it’s okay if you treat yourself to both a pedicure and a car wash. Immediate reinforcement helps your brain make more powerful associations.
6. Repeat and repeat. Forming new habits requires sustained effort. Fortunately, that means you’ll get to enjoy even more rewards.

How to Apply Operant Conditing in Specific Situations

1. Step up your parenting. You may remember your mother asking if you wanted to eat your carrots and broccoli or just your broccoli. Smart lady! Both choices involve eating veggies. However, the perceived control over the choice activates various ingrained biases that make us happy with our choice even if both of the options technically suck.
2. Advance your career. There may be long periods between raises and promotions. Pat yourself on the back with fresh flowers or a new book each time you complete a professional development course.
3. Reinvigorate your job search. Maintain your spirits if you’re currently unemployed, underemployed, or just not happy. Start looking for your dream job today! In the meantime, you can show yourself a good time on a limited budget with free movies from your local library or a walk through the park.
4. Make housework more fun. Do you procrastinate when it comes to cleaning the toilet or mowing the lawn? You’ll start looking forward to your least favorite tasks when you know that there’s a reward afterward.
5. Stick to your diet. Snacks are easier to resist when you have a variety of nutrient-dense foods in your meal plan. Try vegetables from every color group to help you get all the required vitamins and minerals. And don’t forget to drink plenty of water!
6. Quit smoking. Giving up tobacco is the most critical health decision you can make. Studies show that multiple strategies can increase your chances of success. Wear your nicotine replacement patch and attend support groups while you entice yourself with attractive rewards for staying away from cigarettes.
7. Exercise regularly. Are you having a hard time talking yourself into climbing on the treadmill each afternoon? Your workouts will seem more pleasant if you alternate between yoga, running, and swimming. Variety is the key!

Channel the power of individual choice and make it work for you. What could be better than strengthening positive habits while you reward yourself for making intelligent decisions?

The post Leveraging Rewards to Create Good Habits first appeared on Our Life Advisor.

I still sometimes feel like a loser kid in high school and I just have to pick myself up and tell myself that I’m a superstar every morning so that I can get through this day and be for my fans what they need for me to be.

Do you feel like a fraud in danger of being exposed when someone praises your work? Do you think your achievements are just a matter of luck? If so, you may be experiencing Imposter syndrome.

The term Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes invented in the late 1970s when they studied successful women. In short, imposter syndrome is when an otherwise competent individual doubts their abilities and feeling like a fraud.

Although studies on the topic disagree on the exact percentage, researchers estimate that most adults experience the symptoms at least occasionally. It’s also important to keep in mind that you may be especially vulnerable when you’re trying something new or celebrating a momentous occasion like a job promotion.

Depending on your personality, you may be more at risk of developing impostor syndrome more frequently. Whatever the reasons, you can stop undermining yourself. Instead, learn to experience doubts without letting them interfere with the happiness and success you deserve.

Changing Your Thinking:

1. Remember your achievements. Review your track record. Putting your victories in context will show you that they’re not flukes.
2. Give yourself credit. Change your self-talk. When you catch yourself becoming critical, congratulate yourself instead. Reframing your thoughts will help you to view yourself in a more positive light.
3. Accept uncertainty. Impostor syndrome is often associated with perfectionism. Instead, embrace yourself unconditionally, including your strengths and weaknesses. Set realistic goals and expectations.
4. Validate yourself. Live up to your standards rather than relying on approval from others. Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings so you can manage them effectively.
5. Appreciate effort. Do you regard struggling as a sign of weakness? In reality, success often requires careful planning and hard work.

Changing Your Behavior:

1. Talk it over. Impostor syndrome can be a complex cycle to break because your first impulse is to cover it up. On the other hand, revealing your insecurities will help you to put them in perspective.
2. Build support. Ask family and friends for help. Having the courage to be vulnerable will boost your confidence and strengthen your relationships.
3. Fight stereotypes. Feeling like an outsider can contribute to impostor syndrome. For example, maybe you’re much older or younger than your coworkers. Look for ways to turn that diversity into an advantage instead of feeling awkward about being different.
4. Be spontaneous. You may be putting unnecessary pressure on yourself if you frequently over-prepare for various events. For example, throw a party with takeout pizza instead of spending an entire day in the kitchen.
5. Accept compliments. Can you receive praise graciously, or do you secretly want to run and hide? Practice saying thank you sincerely. You’ll create a more pleasant experience for yourself and your admirers.
6. Find a mentor. Changing long-standing habits can be challenging work. Working with a mentor will give you the benefit of ongoing feedback from someone you trust. You may also feel more accountable knowing that someone else is monitoring your progress too.
7. Teach others. Recognizing your areas of expertise can be tricky when knowledge and skills build up slowly over time. However, instructing others is an excellent way to learn more about yourself while providing a valuable service.
8. Stay relaxed. Challenging situations are likely to trigger any defense mechanism. You’ll find it easier to be authentic if you manage daily stress. Block out time for meditation and physical exercise. Slow down and take a deep breath if you find yourself starting to question your worth.
9. Take risks. Impostor syndrome can hold you back from trying new things. Instead, make a list of projects that excite you and take pleasure in learning as you go along.

Build your confidence and sense of belonging. Overcoming imposter syndrome will help you feel more comfortable with yourself and take more satisfaction in your achievements.

The post Say Goodbye to Impostor Syndrome first appeared on Our Life Advisor.

Although different aspects of your life appear to operate independently, changing one part of your life leads to changes in other areas. So when you’re struggling to improve one facet, it can be helpful to focus on another related aspect.

So when you’re struggling with your mental toughness, it may be easier to first focus on achieving physical fitness.

By ensuring your body is strong, challenged, and fully tuned, you can encourage mental toughness and realize extraordinary physical achievements.

Try these strategies to strengthen both your mental and physical fitness:

Make your workouts uncomfortable. It’s essential to challenge yourself. Your body thrives by doing unique and challenging movements. Instead of doing what you know, you can test your limits. Don’t get comfortable. Keep changing the game, so you build determination in the face of a challenge.

Something To Try – Develop an indomitable spirit by jogging outdoors during winter instead of on the treadmill. Yes, I know. It’s easy and comfortable to use the treadmill. However, running outside in cold climates tests your limits. It also allows you to feel confident in your abilities when you succeed. Of course, be sure to dress appropriately!

Fitness challenges help you transfer that confidence and determination to other parts of your life. Uncomfortable life situations can take a toll. Yet you’ve already overcome fitness challenges. Now, you can use those victories to equip yourself with coping mechanisms for mentally challenging situations. Do I see a step challenge in your future? Gather some friends or coworkers and challenge each other!

Participate in physical competitions. Competitions can be intimidating, especially if you have a formidable opponent. However, as you participate in more competitions, your self-esteem develops at the same time.

Invite someone better at a challenge Fthan you to a contest. Having that person as an opponent helps you readily identify your shortcomings and strengthen your skills.

As you compete, you come to terms with your abilities. And although you may be less impressive than your opponent, you can truly develop an appreciation for the level you’ve reached. So in all your competitions, avoid allowing pride to push you beyond your limits. Of course, you probably want to prove that you’re solid competition. However, it’s best to avoid doing so at the risk of hurting yourself physically.

Take part in speed training. You may have other strong suits that don’t include being fast on your feet. Yet you’d be surprised how much speed training can help you mentally. Practicing sprints and trying to shorten reaction time can help you work more efficiently. When you develop a quick reaction time, it’s easier for you to make good decisions under pressure.

Speed training also helps you to work quickly and accurately. It’s great if you can speed through tasks. However, it’s even better if your accuracy level is also high. Develop an effective combination through speed training.

Take the time today to acknowledge the connection between your mind and body. Your mind and body support each other on a day-to-day basis. Be sure your mind functions optimally by keeping your body in tune. Your professional life and personal life will both benefit.

The post Develop Mental Toughness Through Physical Fitness first appeared on Our Life Advisor.